A, B and C

Right, day 3. Went into the centre and saw Red Square and the Kremlin. Half of the square was shut so couldn't see most of it, including Lenin's Mausoleum. I'll have to go there again soon. I'm not sure why they have the onion things on top of the towers. Isn't that a muslim thing? More research required. It feels very Russian though.

Went to the national gallery. Full of traditional painting including that one on the cover of Crime and Punishment. Massive place. Got tired and had coffee and cake. Yum Yum.

Tim took me to a little gallery of contemporay art which was showing Georg Baselitz, Chris Ofilli and the amazing Jonathon Meese. His stuff is brilliant, the scale and humour and energy in it was fantastic. I would go so far as to say I loved it.

That evening we went out out with Sacha (the director of the School) and his girlfriend Natasha. First we had Vietnamese. And now a word now about the service. Natasha got her starter at the same time as her main, Tim got his main after we'd finished and when I got my main the waiter said I had to wait ten minutes for the rice to go with it! Why he didn't tell me that 10 minutes earlier, I don't know. Its not rocket science people! Got over that and went to this crazy party...

Sacha drove in his crazy Russian way, which is basically completely illegal and like Popeye Doyle in The French Connection and we got to this weird broken down warehouse. There were girls with big hair and next to nothing on giving out free beers, a car outside with a video in the boot playing awful house music and loads of photographers. On stage to begin with 2 skinny girls danced badly to the terrible music. One was wearing tiny pants and a top. All the Eurotrash were dancing in the way only Russians can and I was immediately feeling like this was exactly the place I never wanted in my entire life to find myself. Then the Russian hip hop group came on.

The Miller girls started dancing out of time to them, guys who couldn't see a thing in their sun glasses started flicking their arms around like gay down syndrome suffererers and I pursuaded Tim to leave, who was in the same mood as me. Sacha, it turned out had left after a night of arguing with Natasha.

We got a taxi back. It cost 2 quid.